Okay, so when we last met, I’d been visited four days in a row by a fetching fetch of dragonflies.
When my fairy-dusted friends finally flew away, I must admit, some of my old “abandonment issues” cropped up.
(You know that you’re destined for a lifetime of therapy, when you get your feelings hurt by insects.)
To keep the memory alive, I painted them. I wrote about them. And talked about them to anyone who would listen.
Then, my post-dragonfly bliss was rudely interrupted by the Gnats of Everyday Life.
You know, those pesty little problems that aren’t a matter of life and death. But they sure zap a lot of energy and can really mess up your mojo.
Like when our son Landon came home from camp with a big bag of dirty laundry. And an even 15 year old Attitude. (Trust me, mud stains are easier to get rid of.)
Then, there was our so-called “vacation” up in the Bay Area.
Zig-zagging from Marin to Oakland to San Francisco to spend “quality time” with family and friends took more out of us than most work days.
Meanwhile, back at home, Mercury was in retrograde. The printer crashed twice. The toilet ran a marathon.
And I got four tiny bug bites that itched like FOUR HUMUNGOUS ONES.
Hmmm…maybe those gnats weren’t just a metaphor. It says right here that they bite and are also called “midges”. Who knew?
I do know that life is a constant dance between dragonfly magic and gnat reality.
A night of mad, passionate love is sure to be followed by a morning of really bad breath.
And since most of can’t travel to India to seek enlightenment, our lives tend to be more like Eat. Pray. Pick Up Dog Poop.
Here are some things that have helped me cope with the transition from the magical to the mundane:
1. Feel your feelings. It’s normal to feel let down after a high—whether you’ve birthed a baby, accomplished a goal or had an epiphany. Give yourself time to feel disappointed, resentful and/or overwhelmed when your world turns back into a pumpkin. When we allow our real feelings to surface, we make room for more magic. (I’ve found that luxuriating in my funk is the only way to get out of it.)
2. Be one with the duality. Remind yourself that it’s not an either/or proposition. As nice as it feels to put things into neat little manilla folders, life just doesn’t work that way. We humans manifest magic and scoop poop.The trick is not getting too attached to either one. (I’m working on it. Check with me next lifetime.)
3. Listen to Mother. There’s no better teacher than Nature. Everywhere you look, she gives us graceful examples of duality. The tide ebbs and flows. Flowers blossom and wilt. Trees reach up to the heavens while rooted in earth. (I want to be like them when I grow up.)
4. Envision the magic.After my dragonflies flew away, I “just so happened” to find an old dragonfly earring in my drawer and hung it on my altar. Then, my Mom sent me a dragonfly garden stake. And my friend Janine gave me a dragonfly necklace. As I trudge through the mundane, these symbols remind me that the magic still exists.
5. Breathe in the magic. When you’re lying in bed or meditating, see and feel yourself back in those magical moments. Breathe the wonder, exhilaration and joy —-right into your heart. Every breath will keep it living inside of you.
So, what about you? How do you remember the magic of dragonflies when you’re being bugged by gnats?
Wendi, Personally, I believe this is your BEST blog writing yet! You’ve hit so many nails on their heads I can hear the metal ringing from here. ~:)
Since I’ve been home from hospital, and I’ve managed very small accomplishments — like standing on 1 leg long enough @ the bathroom sink to brush my teeth — to more larger tasks — like navigating my galley kitchen w/a walker than can just squeak a U-turn in there & being able to fry my 1st egg — I’ve experienced all the highs & lows you speak of, and probably everything in between. Especially, the agony of da feet. ~;)
When the deep lows have come after those uplifting highs of accomplishment, I’ve consistently reminded myself of 3 things: The feelings are absolutely normal, I’m allowed to feel them AND I’m allowed to get over them — there will be more to feel another day. ~:)
I also have practiced opening my mouth to those who are within my circle of “Help!” letting them know my little psyche wants & needs them to be more ‘present,’ even if the closest they can be is a phone call. They are all so wonderfully responsive and I’m receiving ph calls, and “I just stopped by to see how you were” more frequently.
Reminding myself that each day I’m stronger, w/just a bit more energy & stamina helps to ‘push’ myself just a bit farther along my recovery path each week. I’m doing things this week I couldn’t even THINK about doing last week. And NEXT week? Well, who knows? I may be ready to accomplish things I can’t even imagine this week! ~:)
Much continued magic to you & yours! And remember — 15 too, shall pass. ~;)
After I sent this out I was hoping it made sense to others besides me. Sometimes it’s hard to tell. So your feedback (as always) is so incredibly encouraging.
I was particularly proud of you when I heard that you were asking for what you need. I was raised in the school of “they should know.” But not everyone does.
I applaud you speaking up. Asking and receiving.
Your courage, strength and support are dragonflies to me.
Oh, Wendi! Considering your magical encounter with four days worth of a huge fetch of dragonflies — that was a really lovely thing to say to me. Thank you! ~:)
It’s how I feel about you. Sincerely xoxo
First. “And since most of can’t travel to India to seek enlightenment, our lives tend to be more like Eat. Pray. Pick Up Dog Poop.” Classic. When I was 10 years old we had a football banquet and our speaker was Tom Landry. As little boys we were all in awe. His speech was dealing with adversity. It is spoken for men but is just as applicable for Goddesses’s to. He said and I remember like it was yesterday ” Deal with your adversity and it builds character. Character builds the man”. Gnats and adversity are the same but I agree with all your bullet points especially #5.
Thanks, Dale. I know when I have your head nodding that I’ve really hit upon something. To tell you the truth I didn’t mean to publish this over the holiday.
But it feels good to get your input and support. It took me a long time to write this one because I had to live it first.
I reached in my bag last night to pull out my camera to take pictures of Darby and Reece’s new digs ( a wonderful little place actually pretty close to you!!!!!) and I grabbed this little thing floating at the bottom and it was a tiny little dragonfly charm with a clasp. I have no idea where it came from. So I am going to assume it was meant to get attached to this camera that is somehow going to help me create my art. And by the way, after dinner, we sat in their new little patio under a tree full of gnats!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wow, you (and your mother-in-law) are the ones who got me started on this dragonfly quest. We’re definitely in sync–between your charm and those gnats.
I’d love to get together and hear about the wedding, art, everything. Much love
Love Love LOVE!!!
you made my day dear Wen! I love you with all my heart!!!!
Thanks, Fredie. You make many of my days. xoxo
Beautiful Wendi! Thanks for your authenticity and sharing tips on how to cope with the transition from the magical to the mundane. This is an art! Thanks for sharing your creatrix in this challenging dance.
Thank you, Tabby. Yes, it is a dance. And we need as much help as possible to learn and re-learn the steps.
Much love xoxo
I so needed this post. It helps me put things(gnats) into perspective!! Thank you xoxoxo
Yes, it helps to know we all go through it, doesn’t it?
eat, pray, pick up poop..my life!!! LOL
I love your blog..thank you xoxoxo
Here’s to more eating and praying….xox