I never thought that much about aging or dragonflies.
That is, until I turned 50.
That was the year I was completely devastated by an unexpected job loss. And we’re not talking about just any job.
I spent decades clawing my way up the corporate ladder to become the only female Senior Vice-President/Creative Director at one of the largest advertising agencies in Los Angeles.
I couldn’t believe that the agency that portrayed itself as “family” and lauded my award-winning multimedia campaigns for brands like Honda and Acura would let me go, after a dozen years, without any warning.
They said it was cutbacks.
But given the fact that I was working in the male-dominated, youth-obsessed world of advertising, it sure felt like ageism and sexism to me.
Well, whatever you call it, there I sat, sobbing in my backyard, trying to figure out who I was and how I was going to pay our bills without that job.
Talk about a midlife crisis.
I was stuck in the muck of worry, fear, and “Now what?”
I couldn’t help but feel a ton of responsibility sitting on my not-so-big shoulders.
With a young child, ailing parents in need of financial support, and a husband who is an entrepreneur (that’s French for no health plan), I really needed that job.
According to the headhunters I spoke with, there were scant jobs available at my level in LA and even fewer for older women. (Back then, you didn’t see many older women in ad agencies; unless they were a founder or a receptionist.)
As if I wasn’t overwhelmed and worried enough, the soundtrack blasting in my head was a relentless loop of “you’re too old” and “it’s too late,” thanks to my annoying Inner Critic, Edna.
It was time to appeal to a higher authority.
I’ve found prayer to be an effective antidote to that negative, diminishing voice in my head.
So, one day, in between sobs, I took a deep breath and said these words aloud:
“Dear God, Goddess, Whoever Is Listening, am I too old to reinvent myself? Please give me a sign.”
With that, I took Lucky for a walk. And when I got home, I absolutely could not believe my eyes.
Whoa, I got a sign, alright. But of what?
There, in my backyard, I found hundreds of red dragonflies, whirling and twirling over our outdoor umbrella like nothing I had ever seen.
First of all, my backyard was not your usual dragonfly terrain. We lived near the 405 Freeway, without a pond or fountain in sight.
Secondly, I had no idea that dragonflies came in red. Or that they traveled en masse.
If you think that’s curious, listen to this:
Those winged beauties stayed for 4 hours that first day. And came back three more days!
It was fascinating. It was exhilarating. And it was perplexing.
What on earth did this visitation mean?
Well, hello Google.
At this point, I sat myself down at the computer and started reading everything I could find about dragonflies and their life cycle.
That’s when I discovered something that I had never heard before, and I bet you haven’t either.
It turns out that dragonflies spend most of their lives crawling in the muck at the bottom of a pond. They’re just your basic, wingless, creepy-crawly brown bugs…for up to four years!
Then, one seemingly random day, something propels the dragonfly to climb out of the pond onto a reed or a rock.
And there, in the sunlight, its magical wings unfurl.
Then…off it goes…on its first aerial adventure.
Newsflash: Dragonflies don’t fly until later in life.
It was mind-bendingly miraculous.
I had asked for a sign if I was too old for a midlife reinvention, and I received a swarm of hope, encouragement, and a whole new way of looking at aging. (Who’d have thought it would come from bugs?!)
It felt as if those dragonflies flew into my life to say, “Hey, don’t worry. You’re one of us…a dragonfly growing new wings as you fly into your next chapter.”
Well, I’ll tell you this.
Seeing those sparkly, colorful creatures soaring later in life was certainly a more encouraging way to look at aging than Edna’s down-and-out, over-the-hill, all-washed-up version.
And that was just the beginning.
After that magical experience, I started seeing dragonflies everywhere I went in Los Angeles.
They’d fly across my windshield on the 405, 101, and 10 Freeways.
I’d spot them on Sunset Boulevard, Hollywood Boulevard, and Rodeo Drive.
Then, the ultimate encounter took place when my husband Will and I were on vacation in Ojai (an idyllic, mystical valley between LA and Santa Barbara), we found ourselves surrounded by another swarm of red dragonflies, under a majestic old oak tree.
Will rolled his eyes (as he often does) when I told him, “I think those dragonflies know that I’m a brand storyteller and are trying to recruit me to get their muck-to-magic story out into the world, to help others change their stories, especially about aging.
And as you can see, that’s exactly what I’m doing now.
Let’s stop telling ourselves the same “too old” stories about aging.
It’s not easy aging in a youth-worshipping culture, especially in LA, constantly bombarded by all those retouched faces and anti-aging products.
The prevailing message is that getting older is something to fear, to fix, to hide.
It’s no wonder so many of us feel less than as we age. Less relevant. Less visible. Less powerful. Less worthy. Less valued.
When I lost my job at 50, I felt like I was being put out to pasture. I wasn’t just losing a job, I was losing my sense of who I was.
That feeling might hit you as you’re facing a “Big Birthday,” navigating menopause, coping with an empty nest, or managing your own midlife crisis.
Or maybe when you start to notice midlife changes in priorities, relationships, and in the mirror.
I don’t know about your Inner Critic, but my Edna loves pointing out every possible worst-case aging scenario, from losing my mojo to losing my mind.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who has looked at getting older through the lens of fear and worry, doom and gloom.
A new vision of getting older, courtesy of the dragonflies.
Dragonflies are symbols of transformation in many cultures, from Native American to Japanese, and I believe they can help transform the way we perceive aging.
Instead of seeing it as a process of diminishment and decline, dragonflies are soaring examples of the joy and freedom that we can experience in midlife and beyond.
They don’t follow our societal script of fading into the background or contracting with age.
Nope, not them.
Dragonflies are soaring examples of what it’s like to show our true colors, shine our light, and spread our wings in new directions as we age.
They have inspired me to reframe aging as a process of becoming More of Who We Are. Not Less of What We Were.
And you know what?
When we change the way we look at aging, we can actually change the way we age.
There’s a research study that proves that people with a positive attitude about aging live an average of 7 ½ years longer than those with a negative attitude.
So, it definitely pays to look at the aging glass half full.
I’m writing The Way of the Dragonfly: Flight Instructions to Transform the Way We Age to help you do just that.
In it, I share a whole new paradigm for transformation, complete with nine Dragonflying Lessons, uplifting stories, tools, and “Flight Instruction” exercises to help you rise up from the muck of old limiting beliefs into the magic of new possibilities.
My book will fly into the world in May 2026.
But you can order it now, right here on my website.
The dragonflies and I can’t wait to share it all with you.
With wings of love,
Wendi
Wendi Knox is the author of The Way of the Dragonfly: Flight Instructions to Transform the Way We Age. A former advertising creative director turned inspirational writer and speaker, she helps women 50+ reframe aging as an act of becoming more of who they are, not less of what they were.
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