Trust me, I‘m not about to judge how anyone faces the ch-ch-ch-challenges of aging.
Having just celebrated another birthday, it’s definitely a topic that’s on my mind.
And on my forehead.
And under my eyes.
And around my neck.
As far as Botox goes, I’ve personally never been a fan of injecting toxins into my face.
Ironically, I do inject all kinds of toxic thoughts every time I look in the mirror.
Seriously, I‘m the meanest of the mean girls to my own sweet face. (You should hear the way I snidely snipe every wrinkle, crinkle, bag and sag.)
But then, aren’t we all our own harshest critics?
And sadly, it’s not just women of a “certain age” either.
In this powerful video from Dove Real Beauty, seven women of various ages and backgrounds (none of them over forty), each are asked to describe their face “objectively” to a forensic sketch artist.
When a stranger was asked to describe the woman’s face, the difference in portraits and perception is staggering.
In every case, the woman saw the worst in herself. The stranger saw the best.
Of course, we do this to ourselves on a daily basis.
Have you ever looked at a photo of yourself when you were younger and thought “Wow, I looked pretty good.”
And then you sadly remember how ”fat” and “ugly” you used to think you were.
Don’t you just want to shake the Younger You and tell her to be grateful for all that she has?
Well, one of the beautiful parts about aging is we get a chance to learn from the past.
Hopefully, with more awareness, we’ll start seeing ourselves through more loving eyes.
Here are some non-surgical techniques that I’ve been trying:
Fast-forward 10 or 20 years.
Imagine yourself in the future, looking at yourself now.
Chances are, the Older You would die for the imperfections that the Current You is obsessing about now.
Find something you love about your face right now. In this very moment.
No comparisons to how you used to look. Or how you’d look “if only.” Or how much better what’s-her-name looks.
See the best. Forget the rest.
Whatever we focus on gets bigger.
So, we can choose to zero in on our frown lines. Or to smile them away.
We can fixate on the bags under our eyes. Or see the light within them.
(And of course, a really good concealer doesn’t hurt, either.)
If you can’t say something nice…
Start noticing all the mean things you say right in front of your face.
How many times a day do you tell yourself how tired, old, wrinkled or ugly you look?
What if you stopped, looked yourself right in the eyes and said “I love you.”
In the beginning, this feels rather strange. (Especially if someone catches you doing it.)
But on days when I remember to be as loving to my own face as I am to others, it seems like the whole world is a more loving place.
(I call that the Law of Reflection.)
Let’s fill our souls.
We live in a culture that’s more concerned with sagging skin than sagging spirits.
Again, I’m not passing judgment on Restylane, Juviderm or any facial filler.
But let’s face it, what good is being perfectly plumped on the outside, if you feel empty inside?
Most of us are so busy doing, fixing and accomplishing in the outside world, we forget to honor our inner world.
So, try this: The next time you tell yourself “I should blah-blah-blah-ing.,” hit the pause button.
Place your hand on your heart and ask “What do I feel like doing?”
There is no age-defying product on any shelf as powerful as following the joyful calling of your heart.
Be a dragonfly.
Dragonflies spend most of their lives crawling around the bottom of a pond.
They don’t even grow their iridescent wings until much later in life.
What a beautiful reminder that it’s never too late for us to soar.
Stuck in the muck of our busy, no-time-to-breathe lives, we rarely allow ourselves to ponder new possibilities.
What would give your heart wings?
Have you always wanted to take tango lessons, go sky-diving, bake bread, throw pottery, go back to school or ________________?
Or maybe you just long to fly from flower to flower, savoring the beauty that’s around you.
Or need some down-time to hear your own inner voice.
Listen to this: Dragonfly Song
It’s based on a poem I wrote. And Aradhana Silvermoon, an angel-voiced dragonfly friend created and sings the song so soulfully.
I promise it will inspire you to rise above any self-limiting thoughts you’re stuck in.
Yes, it’s true that we’ll never look as young as we used to.
But each time we say “yes” to the flutter of our hearts, it’s youth serum for our souls.
And not even the best plastic surgeon on the planet can create that sparkle in your eyes.
My heart soars every time I hear from you “ageless, cageless soaring sages” (That’s from Dragonfly Song)
If you feel like it, please unzip your thoughts below.